25| "Meet Them Where They Are" | Advocating for Adults with Autism

In this episode of Where We Rise, Khalila sits down with April Ratchford, an autistic occupational therapist, mother, and host of Adulting With Autism. April shares her story of being late diagnosed, raising a neurodivergent son, and navigating a world that offers very little support for autistic teens transitioning into adulthood.

April opens up about her son’s journey—from early signs of autism, to years of misdiagnosis, to failing out of college at 19, and eventually finding a university that understands how neurodivergent students learn best. She explains why so many autistic adults struggle after high school, how cultural bias impacts diagnosis, and what families really need to know about college, independence, and maturity.

April reframes autism not as a deficit, but as a different way of experiencing the world — and her insight will challenge you to rethink how you show up for neurodivergent people in your life.

Whether you’re a parent, educator, caregiver, or simply someone who wants to understand autism more deeply, this conversation offers clarity, compassion, and hope.

Connect with April:

Website: AdultingwithAutism.com

Podcast: Adulting With Autism on all platforms

           Episodes to check out 

                  Marshall University with Mindy

                  Overcoming the wall of awful - 7/27

                  Missed AdHD, masking and burnout - 7/15

Connect with Khalila

Instagram:  @wherewerisepod

Email: WhereWeRisePod@gmail.com

Transcript

Khalila McCoy 0:00

Hey, I'm Khalila McCoy, and you're listening to the show that reminds you you are not alone. This is Where We Rise. Hey, welcome back to Where We Rise. We've officially reached the last week of July. And if you're an educator, you already know what that means. Summer is basically over. I don't care what the weather is doing outside, the target school supply aisles are full, the emails are rolling in, and starting next week, I will be back in full school mode, preparing for a brand new school year. I already know some of you are back full mode already. It's a bittersweet season, so make sure you check in on your teacher friends. But to honor back to school season, I wanted these next few episodes to relate to school, but also teach us something about others. So that curiosity led me to today's guest, April Ratchford. She's an autistic occupational therapist, a mother, and the host of a podcast, Adulting with Autism. In this conversation, April and I touch on some things such as diagnoses and emotional realities of parenting a neurodivergent young adult as she walks us through her son's journey from struggling in college to finding the right support. She shares practical insights about what autistic teens and adults actually need as a transition into the real world. April's honesty, humor, and lived experience make this conversation engaging from start to finish. Let's listen. Hi, April. Welcome to the show. Hello, thank you for having me. Yeah, I'm really excited that you're here. So I shared with you before, I actually saw you on a show of a previous guest of mine. And in that episode, you guys were talking about adulting with autism. And I really liked the way that you reframed autism, not as a deficit, but just as a different way of experiencing the world. And I thought that was really powerful. And I think the more we understand neurodivergence through that lens, the better we can support and help each other and grow. So that's why I asked you to come on. And I'm so excited you said yes. So if you can start off, I don't know a lot about you either. I'm learning along with my listeners. So go ahead and tell us a little bit about yourself and how you came to be so passionate about this topic.

April Ratchford 2:32

So I'm April Ratchford. I am an autistic occupational therapist. I am late diagnosed. I have a 24-year-old son who is also autistic and has spina bifida. And what I have gone through with him through the years and transitioning him into adulthood, I found out there's nothing there for them. Like he went to college at 19, failed out, and I couldn't find anything to help him transition. We didn't get anything when he graduated high school. And as an OT, I don't do pediatrics for a reason. I am in long-term care rehab. So I was navigating this on my own. I was like, there's no OT out here, like helping parents transition kids into adulthood. And I got frustrated because my son was getting depressed and he didn't know where to go. I didn't know where to go. He just blew $10,000 because they took advantage of him. And I was like, fine, I'm gonna start a podcast and bring on guests that could help other autistic young adults transition into the adult world. Like whether it be mental health or relationships, sexual intimacy, all the things they didn't get in school that they should have gotten. And here I am.

Khalila McCoy 4:09

Yeah. Well, no, I like that. I like that you're I always think it's very admirable when people take a situation that they're going through, improve their situation, but don't just stop there. They say, How can I help other people? So I like that you're doing that as well. So let's back up first to you. You said that you were late diagnosed. When were you diagnosed then?

April Ratchford 4:33

So it's funny because a lot of women don't really get diagnosed correctly until we hit menopause. And I was doing this, the more I kept doing my podcast, the more boxes I kept ticking. And I was like, oh, maybe I'm autistic. So I look at my baby book. I didn't speak until I was two and a half years of age. I had speech all through like first and second grade. I have my own idiosyncrasies about things. I have my own meltdowns. I was like, well, this makes sense.

Khalila McCoy 5:12

It's like all coming together.

April Ratchford 5:14

Yeah. I was like, well.

Khalila McCoy 5:16

So you didn't really notice what you were going through until you start helping your son? Right. Okay. So then did you have to bring it to your doctor and say, hey, this is these are all the things that I'm noticing? Uh, not really, because my doctor is like, well, you're an occupational therapist, you would know.

April Ratchford 5:34

And I was like, Yeah. Yeah. So, because I should have figured it out when I was in my master's program because I could not get through my AMP test without zoning out after hour one. And my best friend was like, I don't understand. You zunk these out, but you can't pass your test. But it's because I like, if it's not interesting to me, the three hours of testing is a long time. And then I did it again with my OT boards. I failed those for the first time. And that was five hours. And I knew the first time I wasn't gonna pass because I kept focusing on all the clicking noises from the other typewriters.

Khalila McCoy 6:23

And I was like, Oh my goodness, yeah, I can't focus.

April Ratchford 6:27

It was over, so I should have figured it out. My sister was late diagnosed as well, but she is autistic and ADHD, like her youngest son, and her older two are also autistic.

Khalila McCoy 6:42

I was gonna say I've heard before for women that ADHD often gets misdiagnosed or later on because you know, for women, they think it's something else. Do you feel like it was the same thing for you guys, like as you were going through those things before you learned all the things that you should have, you know, should have known, but could have known about it? Was it just you thought it was, oh, I'm just not interested, so I'm not paying attention, or I'm just distracted?

April Ratchford 7:07

Yeah, because I it took me forever to pass college. Like people are like, oh, you must be so smart. And I'm like, no. I went back to college at 35. I had the I finally could like be focused and organized enough to get through college. Whereas my sister was my opposite, she's got that ADHD portion where she can be like, she's misorganized. She can do three computers at a time. And I'm like, oh, I can't do all that. But most of us are late diagnosed, and if we're kids of this 80s and 90s, you just you rolled with it. You just had to adapt on your own.

Khalila McCoy 7:59

Now, for your son, were you able to notice the his neurodivergency pretty early?

April Ratchford 8:06

At the time I was a nurse, I didn't notice it, but my sister was in OT long before I was, and she looked at him, she's like, he's got autism. I was like, no, no, he's just a little shy. She's like, there ain't been a kid that watched Thomas the train like he does that isn't on the spectrum. I was like, no. But sure enough, she was right. So he would flap, and so she would teach him how to put his hands in his pockets so he wouldn't flap. He lined up his toys. We didn't play, we just lined them up and carried them. And I was like, kind of awkward. But then when I tried to get him diagnosed, all they told me was he just got anxiety. And I was like, anxiety? What the he's not been on the planet long enough to have anxiety? So I like that answer. It took until he was 10 years old, until a psychiatrist looked at me. He said, You're right. Your son is high functioning, autistic. And I was like, Thank you, Jesus.

Khalila McCoy 9:11

Now that's a long time. How do you how do you feel about that? Because it seems like they almost kind of dismissed what you were noticing as a mom and a learning professional as well.

April Ratchford 9:22

Well, I'm not gonna lie, I I I I throw shade at them all the time. But I feel like too, a lot of times if you are African American or another race, they want to throw kids into oh, oppositional defiance, anxiety. I'm like, he's presenting the same as his Caucasian peers. What's so what is it because you think I'm a single mom and I don't have a job? What is it?

Khalila McCoy 10:01

Right. So a lot of the questions and things that you kind of had to deal with to get to the point of diagnosis.

April Ratchford 10:12

Yeah, and it's hard. And I I tell parents all the time, I'm like, it does not matter where you come from. It's gonna be in all cultures, all races across the globe. They present similar, but you know, a lot of culture, you're gonna have to be a little more fine-toothed because sometimes you're not gonna catch it because in certain cultures, kids don't say no to food, they they eat whatever. And people are like, oh, they don't have autism. I was like, she's not speaking. Please enlighten me of why she they're like, Well, she's eating. I'm like, I don't care, she's from another country. Is she gonna say no? Her parents are gonna totally be different. So that's why I feel like a lot of kids slip through cracks because people don't take that cultural context and mix what could be like early intervention.

Khalila McCoy 11:21

Yeah. Now I'll be honest, I don't know a lot about autism. I am in the schooling system, so you know, I've worked with kids with autism and things like that, and we have an autism unit in our building, and I know the care and uh expertise that the teachers do to work with those students. But I also know there's like a really large spectrum, right, for autism. So how do you figure out that it is autism versus, like you said, a cultural thing or just a behavior of that specific child?

April Ratchford 11:53

Typically it it should be, I think, two days of testing for these kids because they not only see a psychiatrist, they see a PT, an OT, a speech, and they work as a team to kind of read out all these things.

Khalila McCoy 12:10

Right.

April Ratchford 12:11

And I feel like parents inherently know that something is not ticking. And some parents with the severe autism, which is now called level three, you can pretty much see the regression. But with level one and level two, it's such a spectrum in between those things that, you know, one might be one way, the other might be the other way. Like my son had difficulty transitioning, but my niece and nephew didn't. They could they transitioned and did fine. He had, he was like, I don't know what I'm I'm like, oh god. You're gonna be that one. Okay. I see.

Khalila McCoy 13:03

Yeah. What are your thoughts on parents who struggle with that diagnosis and are like, no, they're fine and don't get into that early intervention? How would you support them or encourage them to let, you know, that worry or whatever it is, how would you encourage them to let that go so their kid can get the help that they need?

April Ratchford 13:30

So I'm pretty twent and I'm I'm that rogue therapist that will say it to them and be like, your kid has autism. And I'm like, you can't sit there and say he's gonna be this way when he grows up because you don't know. And then I tell him, I'm autistic, I have two degrees. My entire family isn't autistic. We don't know what that 11-year-old's gonna be. We're still waiting. So people treat it like it's a life sentence, and I'm like, it's not, but I think the fear is is because there's nothing there after school. They're like, what happens after that? And everybody does this. Parents don't want to hear that. They want the next step. They're like, I know he can go through school and get help in school, but what about after school? And when he's an adult, and everybody's like, so it's a real fear because they're already panicking the worst case scenario.

Khalila McCoy 14:38

Right.

April Ratchford 14:38

And then here we are just figuring out they're becoming adults. I'm like, so y'all didn't think they were gonna grow up.

Khalila McCoy 14:46

I didn't Yeah. And I will say it's hard to hear because, like I said, I am in the educational space. I'm in um elementary school. And we get all kids who go through testing and things like that, and we'll sit the parents down and say, you know, they need an IEP or something. And the parents will ask, like, oh, well, if I do this, if I put them in special education, will they be able to go to college? And we always say, Yeah, of course they'll be able to go to college and they'll get some support all through elementary, through middle school, through high school, and things like that. And yes, they'll be able to go to college. But it's interesting hearing now, like, you'll go to college, but what happens when you get there is completely different. Right. Because that's kind of discouraging in a way to hear.

April Ratchford 15:28

Because, like, if I had known that there were actual colleges out there that had autism-specific supports for autistic students and ADHD specific supports out there, I wouldn't have sent my kid to a regular public school. And parents don't know that. I didn't know that until I started doing my podcast. And I was like, wait, they have these things? Why don't I know this? I'm a therapist. Why was this not taught to me? Why do I not know any of these things? And and I tell my story to give parents hope because yes, my son did fail out at 19, but he was able to hold a job for two years. I wasn't gonna let him sit and play video games.

Khalila McCoy 16:15

Well, that's good.

April Ratchford 16:16

He can shower himself. Now, does he drive? No, he still has anxiety about driving, which I don't care. Drive or not drive. But he has now completed his first year at Marshall University. He's on his own. Okay. He is carrying a 2.5. He got a 3.3 last semester. He's in his summer school.

Khalila McCoy 16:40

Okay.

April Ratchford 16:41

He's a sophomore now. So after next year, he'll be a junior and he's ready to get out there and travel the world. He wants to be a foreign exchange student. You just have to be on their timetable and not the rest of the world.

Khalila McCoy 16:56

Right. Yeah, I like that. Now, what type of supports do you feel like they were providing that was different?

April Ratchford 17:05

So at Marshall, I didn't realize they keep their school calendar a lot for the their neurodivergent population. Like my son doesn't have to go home on breaks. He just has to tell them I'm staying in my dorm. Or if he's only coming home for two weeks, to stay on his routine.

Khalila McCoy 17:26

Okay.

April Ratchford 17:27

So they don't shut down like other schools did. And I was like, this is freaking fantastic. My son didn't come home for spring break. He didn't come home for fall break. He only came home for two weeks on his winter break so he could go right back and get back into his routine. And it's a small campus and they provide a lot for their neurodivergent community.

Khalila McCoy 17:54

Mm-hmm. Now you said that's not widely known, right? That schools provide that type of support as well. So how I mean, other than like you said, you had your podcasts. So now I guess people can listen to your podcast to find out more. But is it something when you're applying for schools that you should that should be asked?

April Ratchford 18:14

You should ask, like, because not all schools are going to have autism-specific supports. They do have student support services, but that's like all-encompassing everybody with a disability. And that really doesn't cater how autistic brains and ADHD brains work. So there's certain schools that have it, certain schools that don't. Every school has their own rule about getting in. Right. Like my son tried to get into the autism-specific support program because they only have limited to seating because it's such a tight group and they're a lot of one-on-one. And he just didn't get in, but he went and he's like, Yeah, I don't really need it. I just need extra time on my tests. And away he went. He gets his own tutors, he goes to the library, he's learned how to navigate the computer system, and now he's like a regular student bussing and cussing about professors.

Khalila McCoy 19:26

Did he kind of have to do that on his own? Like, were you able to be there, or is like a person who they buddy him up with?

April Ratchford 19:35

No, he pretty much they do have buddy systems that you can interact with. My son is not about that program. Okay. And then he would call and say, Hey, what do I need to do to do this? And I'm like, you need to go to student accessibility and get your stuff together because you're an adult. He's like, fine. So if he'll go do it. And then, you know, the office of disability, all these things. He knows where to go. Now he may not know where the buildings are. And I'm like, look on your map. Because the map doesn't always work. I was like, it's called Google. Google the help. But he's done well. He's made friends. He's learned how to ride a bus by himself with friends. So I'm pretty proud.

Khalila McCoy 20:24

Tell us about being a mom far away while your son's going through that. Like you said, getting on a bus by himself. Like, did you know he was doing that the first time? Were you nervous for him? I had no idea. He just called me. He was like, hey, I'm at Walmart.

April Ratchford 20:38

And I was like, how'd you get to Walmart? He's like, I took the bus with my two friends, and we can't find the umbrellas. Where do you find those?

Khalila McCoy 20:45

I was like, that's the question.

April Ratchford 20:50

I was like, it's in the purses. She's like, thanks, bye, click. So, and I will say that for a lot of autistic parents, like, you know, they're succeeding when your phone isn't ringing 20 times a day.

Khalila McCoy 21:07

Okay.

April Ratchford 21:07

So I rarely hear from him unless he's got a complaint or he wants to use his credit card and he's like, Can I use my credit card? I was like, what's it for? It's like, I just want DoorDash in Chinese. I don't care. You can use it.

Khalila McCoy 21:25

Now what about the people who are adulting without going to college and things like that and going into the workforce?

April Ratchford 21:33

So I'll give a piece of advice. Just because it makes you a lot of money doesn't mean it's for you. Because unfortunately, the world is still very neurotypical. They want to fit you in the box and you've got to roll with the flow and you're you've got to work for your nervous system. Like if you know you hate people, customer service is not for you. It's called Go Work in a Warehouse where you're by yourself, you can do your job and leave.

Khalila McCoy 22:04

Right. There's some neurotypical people who need to remember that too.

April Ratchford 22:10

You don't like people. This is not your thing. Or if, you know, you know you want to be social and you want to help people, but you don't know if you're going to like it. You don't have to stay and give it 30 days. If it's like crappy and you're like, this is not for me. There are other jobs out there.

Khalila McCoy 22:30

Yeah.

April Ratchford 22:31

And they can ask for, you know, boat rehab does help with coaching and things. But I'm going to tell you, it's not that quickest on the planet. Here in Kentucky, it might be quicker other places. But they just have to know what they can and cannot do. What's your strengths? List them out. Don't focus on your weaknesses. And that's not going to get you even nowhere. Focus on what you can do.

Khalila McCoy 23:03

Right.

April Ratchford 23:03

And start small. And parents need to learn that just because they're not out of your house by 18, 19, 20, I wasn't out of my mother's house until I was like 26. So let them stay, let them learn, let them fall on their face. They will be fine.

Khalila McCoy 23:24

Right. Now thinking about somebody who either is a friend or coworker with somebody with autism, what are some things? And I know, like I said, it's a spectrum. So everybody's a little bit different, but just to make sure that you're, you know, treating that person, you know. So sometimes with someone's neurodivergent, we almost baby them at times, right? Or we go to the other extreme of trying to ignore them or being rude. I'm not saying we as, and I do that, but you know, I mean, there's that those are extremes of how people can be treated. So in that, where would that middle be of truly understanding that person and working with them?

April Ratchford 24:03

It's patience and respect. So if they're your coworker, just say, hey, do you need any help? If they look lost. If they're not getting it really fast, understand it's not because they can't get it. It's just maybe somebody's not explaining it in a way that they understand. Right. Like, it's very simple. Like sometimes it just takes a different way of saying things. Like, I didn't understand anatomy and physiology, and I went to my sister, I said, explain this in April terms. So she would have to like do a whole language change. And I was like, Oh, why didn't they just say that? She was like, because you're a little different. I was like, okay. But just be friendly. Understand they're not gonna trust you on command. You have to earn their trust.

Khalila McCoy 25:01

Right.

April Ratchford 25:01

And they have to feel safe. Nobody's on that's neurodivergent. If they don't feel safe around you, they're not gonna open up. So don't take offense.

Khalila McCoy 25:11

Right.

April Ratchford 25:12

Just let them blossom. Just be friendly and open.

Khalila McCoy 25:18

Mm-hmm. Now I know you work with a lot of adults who are kind of transitioning into the real world, if you will. What has been the most difficult thing that you've come across for them?

April Ratchford 25:33

I'm gonna say parent expectations because it it hits all of us because we know how smart our kids are. We know they're bright. But it doesn't mean college is always gonna be the thing, or you know, they're gonna be doctors or weird physicists or what whatever you have. Meet them where they are. Just meet them where they are, and you're gonna have to understand that they're adults now. They are young adults. You have to ask them what do they want? Like, I don't have power of returning of my son, which people are like, oh my god, I'm like, I'm gonna be dead one day. So he's gotta learn to navigate all of these things on his own. And does he like to do it? No. Does he always know how? No. But I'll get on three-way with him. I was like, call whoever you need to call and I'll help you through it. And he does it. He hates, he hates calling the insurance people. He's like, I'm like, welcome to the real world.

Khalila McCoy 26:45

Yeah.

April Ratchford 26:47

But let them do for themselves. Teach them one thing at a time. They will get it.

Khalila McCoy 26:54

What are some of the things emotionally that you've seen they struggle with as well?

April Ratchford 27:02

That their maturity doesn't always match their age. Just because they're 18 doesn't mean they they're mature at 18. Right. Their maturity level could be anywhere from 13 to 15. And that tears a lot of parents up. And I'm like, you've got to remember, just because they're 18 doesn't mean this autism thing just quickly just goes away.

Khalila McCoy 27:27

Right.

April Ratchford 27:28

The neurotypical brain doesn't mature until 25. So I'm gonna say I was 30 before I got it together. I was like, oh, but I was 26 when I had my kids, so it's a good thing he survived. Yeah. But you've got to understand that their maturity will come. It just comes a little bit later. Like my son turned 18. I was like, oh, I see, we have not got it together. But now he's 24 and some of that maturity has kicked in. He's like, okay, I can do this.

Khalila McCoy 28:09

Right. How have you seen that ref um affect his relationships? Because you talked about before, relationships are different, be it friendships or intimacy.

April Ratchford 28:20

Um, he has a boyfriend. They are both, I guess, gonna be video game designers. Okay. And so his boyfriend goes to online school, and I was like, that is not your option. You don't learn very well that way. You need some people. So he's at school, and every now and then he'll ask a question. He'll be like, So what do I do if he's just constantly trauma just dumping? I was like, put a boundary up. Yeah. Cut it off. I'm like, you are now an adult, you can put up your boundaries, you they can either like it or not. And he's pretty blunt. So people ask, do you want my I want your opinion? He I was like, listen, before you open your mouth, you make sure that do you want the real truth that I'm gonna say, or do you want me to lie to you because I know who you are?

Khalila McCoy 29:23

Is his boyfriend neurodivergent as well?

April Ratchford 29:26

Yes. I'm like, y'all are just a lot.

Khalila McCoy 29:32

Now, do you find with the people you work with, is it typical that two not neurodivergent people will because I know obviously some don't, but is that typical?

April Ratchford 29:40

Like they usually kind of bond together because of everything that they've gone through, or I think so because they feel like that person understands them.

Khalila McCoy 29:49

Right.

April Ratchford 29:50

So I don't know how people just find each other because sometimes when you're in your 50s and you just run into somebody, you're like, Oh, you're neurodivergent too. And they're like, What do you mean? I was like, you didn't know the ADHD, because I know my boss, I worked for it. I was like, girl, if you don't get some meds for your ADHD, he's like, it's fine. I have 9,000 things going on. I was like, you wear me out.

Khalila McCoy 30:22

Do you find in the relationship when it's too neurodivergent people, is it typically more difficult, or is it as any relationship would progress? Because like it's like you said, he's still in different maturity, and they both might be, they're both learning different things. Does that usually strengthen them as they go forward versus like when you have a neurotypical person who's trying to understand the differences and support them? Does it does that make sense what I'm asking?

April Ratchford 30:53

Yeah. Okay. It really comes down to anybody's relationship is communication and being comfortable who you are and where you are and letting that person know.

Khalila McCoy 31:03

Okay.

April Ratchford 31:04

But, you know, every neurodivergent person is different, like ADHD and autism different, or if they're both ADHD and autistic, and this is ADHD, it could be one big mess if there's no communication. Um just like any neurotypical couple, it could be communication issues. But I feel like when it's neurotypical with a neurodivergent, neurotypical have to understand all those sensory issues that they probably never encountered. Whereas to neurodivergent people, they could be like, hey, I don't like noise. And the other one's like, Who here's some head counseling, noise with my friends. And they can work it out, not offended. But neurotypical people tend to be like, I don't understand. Why do you do this and do this? And I'm like, And you you don't really have the answer. You're like, that's just my nervous system. That's what it's wired.

Khalila McCoy 32:12

Yeah. As you're working with your different clients and your own experience, what are some of your favorite experiences or your favorite things working with the different people you've met?

April Ratchford 32:24

Listen, it's always a fun household. Uh, when my niece, nephew, my son get together because they like playing college games and you're watching all these autistic people play Uno like it's fades. Like they just, it's like, I'm like, it's Uno, why are y'all just slamming carts down like it's fades? And they're like taking shots, and I'm like, these are adults. I was like, were we like this? I look at my sister, I was like, did we do this? And she was like, probably worse, but we forget they're like, oh yeah, they're still in their 20s. They're just like weird things. Or um, it's always nice to see other neurodivergent entrepreneurs that I interview that you can clearly see they're not comfortable with people, but they have a lot to give and want to help others. And I'm and ask my advice, and I'm like, oh God, love you, you're asking my advice. But a lot of the times it's really guesswork because there's not a lot of research on adults through the autism spectrum and how they age, comorbidities, because all the research is primarily kids.

Khalila McCoy 33:53

Are you starting to see more research come out about that?

April Ratchford 33:57

There's only been one grant in the country.

Khalila McCoy 34:00

Wow.

April Ratchford 34:01

Granted for research study of autistic adults. So hopefully in the next year. And if everybody's gonna be like, are you is it gonna be you? I'm like, no. I know my lane and it's not research.

Khalila McCoy 34:18

Okay.

April Ratchford 34:20

I've just that's a long study, and my attention is not that great.

Khalila McCoy 34:25

Yeah. So if there's not a lot of research, there's not a lot of resources out there, then how are you helping people? Is it more just from your experience and then just like you said, that patience and taking the time to truly know them and moving forward with that?

April Ratchford 34:40

That in you start in the autism world, you start to learn who has developed things for autistic adults, um, navigating them to neurodivergent coaches or therapists. And the great thing about COVID is we can do anything virtually. So the option is there. It's just unfortunate that you know, not a lot of autistic adults are earning a lot of money. So getting them those supports are really hard. And I see eventually my hope before I leave this planet is to start a foundation just for autistic young adults from 18 to 34.

Khalila McCoy 35:30

Okay. Why 18 to 34?

April Ratchford 35:34

Usually that's the range of young adulthood. Okay.

Khalila McCoy 35:38

I see what you're saying. Okay. So then they'll be able to continue with what they've been supported with at the beginning. Okay.

April Ratchford 35:44

Yeah, and if it grows more, that'd be great. But and maybe people will realize, oh, you need to look at the other part of the lifespan as they age, and maybe more supports will come out. I keep seeing more and more actors figure out they're autistic, and I'm like, you didn't know. Weird.

Khalila McCoy 36:12

But like you said, no one's telling them, you know, what it is or what they're seeing, and they just assume it's something else. Very true. Yeah. So are you an author as well? Am I an author?

April Ratchford 36:29

Absolutely not.

Khalila McCoy 36:30

Okay.

April Ratchford 36:31

I wish I had the patience, maybe down the road. Uh-huh. Once my kid figures out his life and whatever he's going to be successful at, and then I can write a book. But until then, I just podcast my little butt off and hopefully it helps parents and clinicians and autistic adults.

Khalila McCoy 36:55

Yeah. So tell us a little bit more about your podcast.

April Ratchford 36:58

So it's called Adulting with Autism. I started it two and a half years ago. It primarily helps with, you know, mental health, relationships, understanding your brain, how, why you think the way you do careers, if school is for you or not, just a safe space for them to be like, oh, I'm not by myself. This is not an uncommon thing. So they know they're gonna melt down in adulthood. You're gonna have autistic burnout if you don't take care of yourself. And, you know, trying to connect them with resources, you know, like books that could be read, or, you know, coaches that are um more skilled than I am. But that's what I do for them. My son asks me every day because he's like, Are you famous yet? And I'm like, No, no, but I am not famous.

Khalila McCoy 38:02

Does he want you to be famous?

April Ratchford 38:03

Yeah, he's like, you should be making lots of money. I'm like, this is not how any of this works. This is not how none of this works.

Khalila McCoy 38:13

Hey, you never know. I mean, I've seen you have a really big following. And like you said, not a lot of people are talking about this, so you are definitely filling in a gap there. So even if you don't become famous, you're gonna be famous for those people, right? You mean a lot to the people that you're supporting and helping and finding along the way.

April Ratchford 38:31

Yeah, it's it's nice because I'm it's like a big family group. And I'm like, got a question. You can always find me. Or I'll point you in the right direction.

Khalila McCoy 38:43

Yes. So how can people find you?

April Ratchford 38:47

So the best way to find me is on my website, adultsingwithautism.com. It has all my socials, um, a free guide if they would like it. I have autism awareness shirts for young adults. There's no rainbows or horses or unicorns. No, y'all aren't into that. So it's mostly words like not masking just magic or autistic, authentic, unapologetic things that kind of make them feel like, yeah, I'm good with this. Or make proud of who they are. Frequency, just so they're like, yeah.

Khalila McCoy 39:32

Do you find saying that about the shirts makes me interested? Do you find that it's often hard for them to go out into the world and just appreciate who they are? Is there a lot of that in the doling world that kind of that we all have, right? Like, oh, maybe I'm not good enough, or you know, people are gonna look at me weird. Do you find like that's a big part of the support that you give?

April Ratchford 39:58

A lot of the times, especially if they're later diagnosed, simply because it really wasn't talked about as much as it is now. Now it's like this buzzword, like you hear it everywhere. So neurodivergency, neurospicy. So people aren't as afraid to talk about it like they were like maybe five, 10 years ago. So, like my son will stuck around on campus and look at people, and he's not afraid to say, Yeah, I'm autistic. Get out my face. So I'm like, you don't really have to, he's like, You don't have to tell them that. I was like, listen, don't be a dick. Right. Yeah, just now if we could just get like therapists and other pensions to tell kids, hey, it's fine that you know your handwriting's gonna suck. Let's focus on what you're good at and help them prep that way. Because I was like, I look at my son's writing every day and I'm like, you didn't read that.

Khalila McCoy 41:21

I'm glad you typed. Right. So now you're a clinician. Are you do you work for like a hospital or a school or do you have a practice that you're with?

April Ratchford 41:32

Fun fact, I am a long-term care rehab therapist. Okay. I do have people reach out to me and they're like, Do you think you can mentor a coach? And I was like, I don't know, because I work a full-time job too. So but if they ask for my advice, I try to give as much as I know because really in this field, it's really a trial and error as an adult. Because they're not gonna feel be the same as they were as kids. You change as you grow, and your experiences change who you are.

Khalila McCoy 42:14

Right. So tell us what would be the biggest takeaway that you would want either a parent to have or just a listener to have from what you've shared and what you are doing in the experience. What could we take from this conversation to help us rise in our own lives?

April Ratchford 42:36

You are never alone. There is always community for you. Even if it's online, there's a community for you.

Khalila McCoy 42:46

Yeah, I like that. And you're definitely growing a big community. And like I said, I will link your podcast in our show notes. I've listened to a few of the episodes, and there's a lot that I could learn from and apply to my own life as well. So I think people are people, right? And we still need that community. We still need to learn to be patient and to be kind. And like I said at the beginning, I like how you just reframe it's just that perspective, how you look at life. So I appreciate what you're doing, and I really appreciate your time today sharing that. Thank you so much for having me. April left us with such a powerful reminder. You are never alone. There is always community for you. And the beautiful thing about community is that it doesn't have to look one specific way. It can be made up of people with different strengths, different perspectives, and different ways of experiencing the world, all bringing value in their own way. When we understand that, we begin to show up differently as parents, educators, coworkers, and friends. We learn how to walk alongside others and meet them where they are. I highly recommend April's podcast. As I mentioned, there's a lot to learn from her show, even if you are not an adult with autism yourself. I asked her what her favorite episodes were, and she shared her top three. I'll add them to the show notes so you know a great place to start listening. If you or someone you love needs support because of neurodivergence, take time to explore what resources your state offers. It can be frustrating and sometimes discouraging, as April shared, to find the right programs, but many do exist. And the more we share our experiences, ask questions, and talk openly about neurodivergence, the more awareness we build. My hope is that conversations like this lead to better systems, better access, and better support for every family navigating this journey. Thank you so much, April, for being on the show today and for sharing your passion in your heart. And thank you, friend, for joining me for another episode. I am so happy you are here today. As you move through the rest of your day, I hope you take a moment to listen a little louder to yourself, to the people you love, and to the things that connect us and ways we sometimes forget to notice. I'll meet you back here next time. See you bye.